I feel the need to write again today. I think it's the fact that my soon to be ex-husband became a father last night. He called to tell me how happy he was, it was good to hear from him but something in me twisted. It didn't twist because I missed him, it twisted because I was sitting in my parents living room, trying to figure out my life and get it together. I feel trapped in some kind of limbo. I want to be done with Wayne and move on with John ... how do I do that? I'm not yet divorced, I don't have a place to call home anymore. I knit and play facebook frantically to keep myself occupied but I have no friends to go out with or meet up with besides one I write to occasionally in PA. I hate to feel sorry for myself but with the epilepsy and figuring out what's wrong in my pituitary and feeling in-between an old relationship and a new one. It feels very awkward to introduce people who knew I got married to my new boyfriend John; I feel the strange need to explain it all. At least in knitting I'm making headway, socks finished, Christmas stocking finished, a pair of mittens knitted and now a sweater for my sister in the works.
I guess that's enough to go through now, it feels better to get it out somewhere even if it just sits on the web silent.
