Contemplation

I feel the need to write again today. I think it's the fact that my soon to be ex-husband became a father last night. He called to tell me how happy he was, it was good to hear from him but something in me twisted. It didn't twist because I missed him, it twisted because I was sitting in my parents living room, trying to figure out my life and get it together. I feel trapped in some kind of limbo. I want to be done with Wayne and move on with John ... how do I do that? I'm not yet divorced, I don't have a place to call home anymore. I knit and play facebook frantically to keep myself occupied but I have no friends to go out with or meet up with besides one I write to occasionally in PA. I hate to feel sorry for myself but with the epilepsy and figuring out what's wrong in my pituitary and feeling in-between an old relationship and a new one. It feels very awkward to introduce people who knew I got married to my new boyfriend John; I feel the strange need to explain it all. At least in knitting I'm making headway, socks finished, Christmas stocking finished, a pair of mittens knitted and now a sweater for my sister in the works.
I guess that's enough to go through now, it feels better to get it out somewhere even if it just sits on the web silent.

Long After Arrival

I was planning on tracking my move, doing so much but as usual I got distracted and didn't do a thing. It's now March and I've been living in Florida with John for nearly 4 months. As anticipated money is tight since John can only work part time and I can't drive. We're figuring out what sort of "relationship" we've got going on and are already thinking about our move when he gets a job with BMW ... hopefully we'll be in the LI area.

My knitting is coming along, I finished my second sweater, am doing a crochet project right now I'm fairly unhappy with but at least I'm working on it. Today needs to be split between crafting and cleaning. This place is starting to frustrate me since it's become quite messy and I can't let it go any longer ... I really really want to get organized and I guess this is my start for the day; recording what I do.